Talk is never cheap and action are never silent

Communication has always been essential in human relationship. It either builds or destroys relationships. It more often builds and rebuilds relationship because it bridges not only similarities but differences. Communication, in any form, connects us all. Without it, the world would be silent, humanity would not evolve through time and there would be no human relationships.

Communication is undeniably important, whether it is verbal or non-verbal. Some people would claim that emotions are better expressed in words. Some claim that actions are better than words. In either way, they communicate. Communication is, however, incomplete when one uses only one form of communication. All talk or all action will unlikely connect people and build a lasting relationship. A said promise will always be broken if not acted. In contrast, a gift-giving act will confuse someone if not supplemented with I-love-you.

There should be a balanced use of communication. A said promise should be acted and a gift-giving act should also be expressed in words. The balance communication is necessary because humans possess dynamic views. Moreover, some words are better expressed in actions while some actions are better understood in words. A simple hug might just be plain friendly to someone, but love to others. A plain I-love-you might be love to someone, but just a playful word to others. All talk or all action just does not give you straight message.

But history tells us that humanity and relationships are not plainly printed in black and white. The world does not live in spoon-fed straight messages. We also live by metaphors, surprises, poetry, prose, plays that require sheer understanding (and even not understanding) and creativity to enjoy the richness of life especially relationships.

1, All straight talk is boring and so as all sincere acts. A “skewed” communication is also as essential as straight communication in relationship. It excitingly (re)builds and puts humor and lightness in often-serious relationships.

2, A mix of these communication forms are essential, but the choice of words and actions, whether straight or skewed, should carefully be considered. Words and actions should not destroy relationships. They should not be dehumanizing your partner. A playful yet positive word could be counted. An encouraging word is better than a forceful push. A hug is warmer than a practical joke. So, never forget to appreciate your partner, either by tapping the back or saying, “great job”. Avoid criticisms. If you are to criticize, constructively criticize and compliment your partner.

3, Whether playful or straight, words and actions should sincerely be true and respectful. Though truths are often ugly, they can be expressed respectfully. But these respectful truths can only be taken positive if people are open-minded.

4, Words and actions should also be expressed in the right time and place. No matter how positive, encouraging and warm, they will not deliver the real messages if people are hungry, stressed, tired or fatigued.

5, Communication should be mutual, of course. There is no communication if only one person talks and acts. Without communication, then there will be no healthy relationship or a failing relationship will not be rebuilt.

Communication is a shared effort. It is the most important means to build, sustain and rebuild relationships.