Money Matters That Mess Up Your Marriage

It should not come as a surprise to you – The more married couples maintain divergent views about money and money management, the greater are the chances that there will be arguments and conflicts. In fact, several studies about relationships of married couples attribute to problems with money matters the high level of dissatisfaction in their marriage. In related study that was conducted involving 1000 married respondents, results showed that spendthrifts tend to attract tightwads. This leads to serious confrontations and arguments over how the finances should be managed.

So, how can you keep the issues about your finances from getting between you and your spouse? There are three basic rules of money management that you must observe.

• Formulate and agree on a budget

• Stick to it

• Determine dates where you can discuss money matters and issues

• Learn the art of compromise especially on contentious money issues

Instead of trying to change your spouse’s spending habits or criticizing their views about finances, try to follow their lead and replicate their spending habits. Try to see the bright side of what would be something that is not within your league. Break from your usual routine and try to appreciate and find the positive or bright side of your spouse’s position on money issues.

For instance, if you are spendthrift, try to splurge on pleasure purchases or, if you are an inveterate spender, try to save a portion of the money that you would normally dish out on a frivolous purchase.

You are being emphatic, appreciative and respectful towards your spouse when you try to put yourself in their shoes. In this way, you will be able to get yourself to defer to your spouse’s position or stance when dealing with major financial decisions. You have to remember that you are a team. Treat your spouse as your financial partner and you will surely get a sizable “payoff.”

Poor money management breeds relationship neglect

Here is one important caveat that you must be aware of when it comes to handling money matters with your spouse. Arguments and problems with money matters are actually offshoots of more serious problems in your marriage. There may some things about your relationship with your spouse that you are neglecting and the problem might rear its ugly head when you come to the manner by which you manage your finances.

For instance, your spouse may become an inveterate spender when they feel neglected and purchase items that you cannot afford. Your spouse may also raise hell with regard to your spending habits as a form of retaliation to a more serious relationship issue. What must you do? Take time to analyze your issues and problems with your spouse and identify the root cause of the problem. Money problems may just be a by-product or offshoot of a deeper problem in your relationship.

Keep Your Lines of Communication Open

You and your spouse must be fully aware of where your money is being spent each month to avoid conflicts and doubts. You must allocate some time to discuss the details of your finances on a regular basis. This means that you have to cover the entire gamut of your household expenses and agree on your priorities both in the short term and long term. It is extremely important that you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to your financial affairs.