Healthy Marriage – How to Survive your In-Laws
October 13, 2010 by admin
Filed under Weekly lessons
Your in-laws can your best friends or your worst enemies.
It practically boils down on how you handle your relationship with them. The state of your relationship with your in-laws was never an issue before you were married. In most cases, their influence in your relationship with your spouse has never been a source for concern before you got married. Things can take a surprising turn in a few months into your marriage.
You may find them overbearing and annoying at times, but the treatment that you get from them after your wedding may be something that you have not expected, and this is where the situation becomes unbearable for you. If you seem to have started on the wrong foot in your relationship with your in-laws, you will discover that there is more to than meets the eye, and for them, this is what family is all about. From that point and onwards, your in-laws can be your personal albatross. You may have to contend with a life that is constantly being bombarded by spiteful and snide remarks that seem to hurt more primarily because it is being made by your in-laws.
What makes the situation difficult is that you seem to be helpless in the face of the constant “attacks” as you are expected to accord them the respect that elders deserve, not to mention them being the parents of your spouse. You can really speak ill about them and be confrontational, for they are family as far as your spouse is concerned. The situation can take a horrendous once children become part of the equation.
Is there a chance for you to straighten things out with your in-laws?
- The first thing that you must do is to understand the circumstances that you and your spouse are in right now. You need to develop the proper mindset in as far as the “role” of your in-laws in your marriage. Whether you like it or not, they will always be a SIGNIFICANT part of your spouse’s life. There is a tie that binds them together, and this is not broken after he or she says “I do” and starts sharing his or her life with you. You have to acknowledge this connection; it is something natural, though annoying at times.
- Secondly, the harder you struggle to break free from their “clutches” and demand privacy and independence, the more they become overbearing. The parents of your spouse will not take it sitting down if they feel that you are slowly pulling away from them.
So, how can you set things straight with your in-laws and not end up with ruffled feelings?
It all boils down to your approach.
Learn the proper technique of getting your message across without “burning bridges.”
You must be aware at all times that they are the parents of your spouse, and chances are, you are also hurting your spouse if you are not treating them “well.” Get rid of that adversarial attitude when you deal with your in-laws, and though it might be difficult, try to treat them the way you would treat your own parents.
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