Strengthen your relationship with your spouse by rekindling the passion that you feel for each other. If you want to relight the flame of your marriage, then you must observe the following practice that can effectively fire up your own libido.

Preserve your Self-Sense

Make sure that you bring your real person when you go to bed with your spouse. This does not only mean that you pursue your own interest and career, but also your personal desires and goals. Think out of the box and find out other ways by which you can draw your spouse closer to you. Don’t forget to work on your sexual encounters as these provide endless possibilities for you and your spouse to develop and differentiate the foundation of your relationship.

Learn to be Forthright in order to Establish Intimacy

Couples have the tendency to associate intimacy with the “other validated” aspects of the relationship. For instance, we readily admit to our partner or spouse that we feel out of shape or fat. Your spouse responds by validating your observation with the ineffectual use outright denial. Thus, instead of gaining reassurance and support from our spouse, we end up feeling the opposite. Our self-confidence takes a serious hit and we consider the response as the affirmation of the negativity that we feel.

You return the favor by resorting to lame contradiction of their negative perceptions about themselves. You and your spouse then go through a downward spiral and ultimately push ourselves further away from each other. You may think that you are being supportive by your outright denial. In truth and in fact, you are not coming off as being sincere and honest to your spouse and you are making yourself helpless and exposed to the whims and negativity that prevail in your marriage.

Avoid Getting yourself into an Emotional Gridlock

The problem with dominating inclination towards negotiation and compromise is that couples are prone to getting into what marriage counselors and gurus refer to as emotional gridlock. This has been established as one of the major causes of low sexual drive. The moment that you take on the “escapist” stance, you also open the floodgates of debilitating variables that negatively impact on your sexual performance and relationship with your spouse. Once you avoid confrontation, self-validation, full disclosure and conflict, you also allow your performance in bed to suffer.

Re-Orient your Sexual Perspective

The strain and marriage pressures are all too familiar. You want to have a child while your partner doesn’t. While others may argue that sex and child-bearing are completely unrelated, one cannot deny that this strain in the relationship can significantly impact on your habits in bed and your perception about sex. It is extremely important that you relate the critical aspects about your marriage with your sexual desires and needs. You have to understand that we need to look forward to sex when you seriously consider emerging contradictions and conflicts with your spouse. In fact, marriage experts sometimes refer to this as the aperitif of your marriage.

It should not come as a surprise to you – The more married couples maintain divergent views about money and money management, the greater are the chances that there will be arguments and conflicts. In fact, several studies about relationships of married couples attribute to problems with money matters the high level of dissatisfaction in their marriage. In related study that was conducted involving 1000 married respondents, results showed that spendthrifts tend to attract tightwads. This leads to serious confrontations and arguments over how the finances should be managed.

So, how can you keep the issues about your finances from getting between you and your spouse? There are three basic rules of money management that you must observe.

• Formulate and agree on a budget

• Stick to it

• Determine dates where you can discuss money matters and issues

• Learn the art of compromise especially on contentious money issues

Instead of trying to change your spouse’s spending habits or criticizing their views about finances, try to follow their lead and replicate their spending habits. Try to see the bright side of what would be something that is not within your league. Break from your usual routine and try to appreciate and find the positive or bright side of your spouse’s position on money issues.

For instance, if you are spendthrift, try to splurge on pleasure purchases or, if you are an inveterate spender, try to save a portion of the money that you would normally dish out on a frivolous purchase.

You are being emphatic, appreciative and respectful towards your spouse when you try to put yourself in their shoes. In this way, you will be able to get yourself to defer to your spouse’s position or stance when dealing with major financial decisions. You have to remember that you are a team. Treat your spouse as your financial partner and you will surely get a sizable “payoff.”

Poor money management breeds relationship neglect

Here is one important caveat that you must be aware of when it comes to handling money matters with your spouse. Arguments and problems with money matters are actually offshoots of more serious problems in your marriage. There may some things about your relationship with your spouse that you are neglecting and the problem might rear its ugly head when you come to the manner by which you manage your finances.

For instance, your spouse may become an inveterate spender when they feel neglected and purchase items that you cannot afford. Your spouse may also raise hell with regard to your spending habits as a form of retaliation to a more serious relationship issue. What must you do? Take time to analyze your issues and problems with your spouse and identify the root cause of the problem. Money problems may just be a by-product or offshoot of a deeper problem in your relationship.

Keep Your Lines of Communication Open

You and your spouse must be fully aware of where your money is being spent each month to avoid conflicts and doubts. You must allocate some time to discuss the details of your finances on a regular basis. This means that you have to cover the entire gamut of your household expenses and agree on your priorities both in the short term and long term. It is extremely important that you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to your financial affairs.

To most couples, staying out of the marriage rut is a difficult task. The truth is, however, it really is not a big task if you know the five point plan in keeping your marriage on the right track.

The first important point in this plan is to emotionally stay engaged with your partner—this is despite the years and even despite of him or her. Remember that it is too easy to let the problems just completely overwhelm your marriage. With clashing views, frenzied schedule and misplaced responsibilities, it is really difficult to manage everything and still keep your marriage intact. This is the reason why it is important to always reconnect with your spouse as much as possible. Remind yourself why you married your partner and how much you really love him or her in the first place. Stay supportive, be optimistic and always
take time to listen.

The next important point is to physically stay engaged with your partner. Be together in whatever you do. Play golf, walk the dog, practice yoga and keep moving together with your partner. Have you ever watched an old couple walking in the park and holding hands? Have you ever wondered how they managed to grow old together looking so happy in their marriage? Well, the secret lies in staying physically engaged with each other.

The third important point in this plan is to look for mutual interests and activities. One of greatest terrors of couples nearing their empty nest years is to lose topics to talk, laugh, and ponder about. You can avoid this by starting to develop passion for music, movies or sports. This will help you stay connected even after your kids leave and start their family. Otherwise, you will only find you and your partner having to deal with either the eerie of silence of TV reruns.

As equally important as the third point, it is essential that you and your partner develop separate interests. Remember that too much of something is never good. It is important to strike a balance between your own identity separate from your partner and your identity together as a couple. Finding time for your passion that your partner may not really like is critical to your growth as a person. Moreover, you should realize that the time that you spend apart makes your time together much more worthwhile.

The last point in this plan is to keep believing. You should always remember that the greatest rewards in life usually come from a leap of faith. Marriage is also a leap of faith. Once you lose that faith, everything will come rushing down the pit and everything that you have invested in the marriage will be useless.

The choice is yours in whether to make your marriage is easy or not. Remember that it is not enough that you follow only one of these points— successful marriage requires trying to follow all of these steps.

Married couples need to follow the “rules of engagement” to maintain the right intensity, level and quality of their sexual relationship.

Just-in-Time with Sex

You must keep your affairs in bed at the top of your list of priorities. This means that your sexual encounter should be ahead breakfast, before Saturday Night Live, before Oprah or even before Sunday Mass. If you don’t want your sexual relationship to decline then you must keep everything up to speed. In fact, you can integrate other activities or daily routines into your sexual engagement. Think out of the box and transform the act of going to the local thrift shop or even washing of dishes as part of the foreplay for this evening’s bedroom performance.

Develop that “sneaky” habit

For most couples, the kids are the strongest type of anti-aphrodisiacs. There has got to be some way that you can get them “out of the scene” on occasions. You will then be able to focus on the task at hand and perform to your heart’s desire. Surprise your spouse or partner at every turn and you will definitely find all the reasons to engage in gratifying sexual encounters. You can also assign your private “sex box” inside your room where it is off-limits to all members of the family except your spouse or partner. Well, if the opportunity allows it, you can bring the performance beyond the confines of the bedroom. Your range of choices includes the living room floor space, kitchen counter-top, etc.

Harness your creative juices

Be creative, imaginative and aggressive. These are the traits that you need to hone up if you want to put some spice in what you are doing inside the bedroom. But then again, you can consider going on locations for your next performance. Simple alterations can make a whole lot of difference and can mean a lot for your partner or spouse. Surprise your spouse or partner, dare to become different and sexy. The unpredictability of the sexual encounter is a strong aphrodisiac.

Are you looking for some ideas? Consider doing the chore jar or sex jar, strip poker, “doing it” in the kitchen, dining in the nude (make sure that the kids are off radar range), etc. You may consider acting out your sexual fantasies.

Make a sudden and unexpected change in course

Your relationship with your spouse or partner will have its fair share of twists, humps and bumps. Problems in finances, work and other complications in your daily routine should not

affect your sexual relationship. The problem with some married couples is that their sexual relationship is usually the first one to go at the first sign of trouble or problem in their marriage.

When things get a bit too tight in the home front, the best thing that you can do is to take a brief break from whatever you are doing. Share the bathroom with your spouse and perform the rituals together. She gives you a good body scrub, while you are shaving her leg. You brush her hair while she is clipping your toenails. This will surely get you in the mood for some hot engagement in bed.

You need to be aware of the critical mileposts of your relationship with your spouse. You must take a breather and assess the overall state of your marriage. You don’t want to get blindsided by a serious problem that could have been prevented had you been more proactive in nurturing your relationship with your spouse.

Here are the potential marriage “sinkholes” that you must avoid:

Sinkhole #1 – Staying glued in front of the TV during dinnertime

If you have this habit of watching TV during dinnertime, this has got to stop. Dinnertime is one of the most important times of the day where you can spend quality time with your spouse or partner. The TV will obviously compete for your attention when it is turned on while you are having dinner. You have to remember that it is important that you catch up and compare notes with your spouse after several hours of the day spent apart from each other.

Show your spouse that you are a dedicated to your family and home once you are not at work. Spend at least 30 minutes for an intimate face-to-face talk with your spouse every night. Ignore incoming calls and set aside your Blackberry when you are having your conversation with your spouse.

Sinkhole #2 – Long breaks in between sex encounters with your spouse

If the frequency of your sexual encounters starts to decline or if the break in between sex encounters begins to widen then chances are your marriage is on the slide. When this is left unresolved, your body will get used to this decreased intimacy and you will go even further without having the desire or need for that usual closeness that you have had during the earlier stages of your marriage.

Sinkhole #3 – Spending your day without communicating with your spouse

You are subconsciously training your body to get used to the absence of your spouse and you begin to feel comfortable with this setup if you are not communicating with your spouse during the day. You must initiate regular communication and contact with your spouse. You can do this by simply sending a short “how are things going?” message to them during your coffee break. Better yet, if it is physically possible, you can drop by his or her office and have lunch together.

Sinkhole #4 – Tuning your spouse out

You are pushing your marriage to the brink of total collapse you act in such a manner that you are disengaging from each other. It is extremely important that

you keep the fire burning. Go the extra mile to express your feelings. Even the small things and simple gestures like holding your spouse’s hands while walking, kissing before you say goodbye or even appreciating the things that your spouse has done for the day mean a lot in strengthening your marriage.

Sinkhole #5 – Not having fights with your spouse

This one is the most interesting indicator. While most couples try to avoid having serious confrontations and conflicts with each other, not having fights at all is also not good for the marriage. Disagreement among married couple, as long as it is properly managed and controlled, is a good way to express their unique personality and individuality.

Due to several factors, couples just find it difficult to keep the flames in their marriage burning. If it is not for their dueling schedules then it would be their clashing views.

If you want to keep the sparks alive, then you may want to consider the following:

1. Sleep together

Going behind the sheets together gives more opportunity to hug and cuddle. The goal in here is not necessarily sex, only to maintain the emotional connection and affection you have for each other. This provides avenue for the couple to temporarily forget the tensions surrounding their marriage and just focus in their relationship. This is the reason why experts recommend spending at least ten minutes in the morning or at night to cuddle or even talk.

2. Fight fair

Fights in a marriage are inevitable. No matter how you try to dodge around arguments and disputes with your partner, they will still surface. However, you should remember to be wise in articulating your disagreement. Consider the right timing and way before charging in a full-blown argument. Even when you are arguing, it is essential for you to speak with compassion as if you are talking to a colleague or friend. Definitely, you will not arrive into a single decision if both of you would insist on having on your own ways.

3. Never stop dating

The reason for this tip is that most couples who have been together for a long time already usually take each other for granted. The truth is, between the initial months of dating and the latter years of marriage,
couples often experience a dating drought. They forget to appreciate each—to some extent, they even forget how much they loved each other! This is the reason why it is highly important for couples to remember how
they used to be before and to continue what they have been doing.

4. Share schedule

Make an effort to be together. You don’t have to be together in everything that you do. However, at least find time to do something which you both love and do it together. You can watch movies, bake cakes, play
badminton or simply talk about your future together. If you fail to find time together, then you risk losing each other.

5. Keep your sex life alive

You have to face the fact: sex is a critical component of a successful marriage. If you are serious about rescuing your marriage then it is important that you initiate sex more often. There are several reasons for this. Among others, sex validates a person’s sense of oneself about feeling desirable and attractive.

6. Indulge on yourself

As important as treating your partner well, it is essential that you love yourself, too. As a couple progress in their marriage, they will eventually swallow in too much of the sense of ‘we’. In the process, they will lose
a sense of their own and this could essentially cause their marriage to completely fall apart.

Sex was sizzling hot during the early years of your marriage. It was a common occurrence where you end up fantasizing what your next sexual experience with your spouse will during the day. You also find it satisfying getting it on with your spouse or partner in the evening, morning or even in the afternoon.

Sadly, it takes on a downward spiral as the years go by and as we include children in the marriage equation. All those marital issues and problems seem to conspire with each other and impact on our “drive” and “appetite” for sex. Your daily or even twice a day engagements slowly turn into once a week affair. Ultimately, these affairs in bed that normally occur during the weekends gradually shifts into a once-a-month affair.

What is more disturbing about the situation is that you seem to forget the last time that you have really craved for some real sex treat from your spouse. Needless to say, the situation is a serious tinderbox that can lead to more serious problems in your marriage.

Here is a list of 5 red flags of sex slump that you must watch out for:

• If you have a bunch of lingerie and sexy nightgowns that you have not worn for months on end, then it is a clear indication that you are on a sex slump. However, don’t rub it in. Try to replace your bedtime attire with a more comfy getup and convey the message that it is not just about foreplay.

• The imprint of the body frame of your spouse can be distinctly and clearly seen on the couch. In fact, your spouse seems to have created an extension for your bedroom – that comfy portion in front of the television. It is time for you to take action if you find your spouse sleeping outside of the bedroom for at least three times a week. The situation may have reached alarming proportions if you find the arrangement comfortable.

• You are not panicking upon learning that you have missed a few of your birth control pills for the month. Well, who cares about contraception when you haven’t had sex for the last 4 weeks? It is really no big deal.

• You start feeling awkward and uptight when watching erotic scenes and commercial of condoms. There is really some serious work for you and your spouse if you want to reverse the downward spiral of your sexual relationship. When you develop this feeling, it is a sign that things are already serious between you and your spouse.

• You have converted your bedroom into a veritable extension of your workstation. This is in relevance with the unhealthy practice of bringing your concerns in the office straight to your bedroom. If you suddenly find it comfortable and normal to work or perform odd things in your bedroom, then you in effect crowding out the sexual affairs with other “more important” things. Once you get into this kind of situation, then you are surely pushing your sexual relationship with your spouse down the drain.

It takes a considerable time and effort to experience good sex. It is not an easy task. There are certain variable that tend to make it a complicated and difficult undertaking. Our busy schedules are having its toll on our sexual performance. We struggle and get stressed out as we handle our daily concerns. As result of this, we end up exhausted and devoid of any motivation and imagination required to keep ourselves up to speed with various aspects of our lives. Good sex is not synonymous marathon performance in bed. It also does not necessarily mean that we have to do things differently to “spice up” our sexual relationship.

Women go into a cycle and their sexual appetite will vary depending on their hormonal condition. This is in addition to the other things that affect their sexual drive. There are times that women take a little bit longer to get them “primed” for sex and the usual “song-and-dance” routine may not be enough.

Thus, it is extremely important that you consider adding more titillating aspects to your sexual relationship so that things remain as interesting and satisfying as ever.

TIP #1 – Change venue

Sometimes, all it takes is a simple change to a new locale to get the excitement quotient to go several notches higher. You can go to a secluded place where you can get a bit more daring in your sexual contact. Try it at a place that is a bit public (but not too public) or simply do it in a different area or room in your home. There are endless options and choices that you may consider so that you can inject a new element into your sexual relationship and you don’t have to get tied up with the same bed.

TIP #2 – Explore new positions

You may already know by now what really works for your spouse. This may mean that you have one or two “techniques” that can really get her going. The thing is that you tend to get stuck with this same old technique. While this is not really harmful, it may give you more leverage and flexibility if you experiment with different sexual positions. The best time to introduce you style in bed is when your spouse in a reasonably high level of stimulation and arousal. Thus, it is important that you decide on the right timing to introduce a new position.

TIP #3 – Play a sex game

You can start your sexual encounter by playing strip poker in order to experience better sex. They may seem to be something which you might have done when you were still young. You don’t have to dismiss this thing as strip poker is a stimulating way to get naked. You may even consider adding a new twist to your sex game. For instance, once you are completely naked, you can continue with the game and get to the more exciting part of the game. You may follow a rule that will require the winner of a particular hand to choose what action is going to be performed by the loser on them. You can set time limits for each of these actions. You repeat this procedure until you and your spouse achieve the desired level of arousal.

TIP #4 – Kick the smoking habit and cut down on alcohol intake

This sexual performance enhancement tip is a no brainier. These aspects of an unhealthy lifestyle do not only impair your sexual performance but affect your overall health as well. Give yourself the break that you deserve, kick that bad habit of smoking and cut down your alcohol intake. Besides, you look more sexy and desirous in the eyes of your spouse or partner if you don’t reek with tobacco and alcohol.

TIP #5 – Play the role of a naughty teaser

Take on the role of a sexy and naughty teaser and your partner or spouse will surely go wild. Don’t rush things and don’t be too technical with the affairs in bed. Use verbal and non-verbal tools to heighten their level of excitement. Surprise your spouse and do things that are not expected from you. If you know of any fantasies of your spouse or partner, play it up and push them to limit and to the point that they will literally beg for more.

It is entirely normal for people to encounter some difficulties maintaining their closeness with their partners. They immediately pursue a more intimate relationship only to discover later that they get more complications and problems than they have bargained for. In the end, they discover that keeping the flame alive requires for them to do certain things. The good thing is that, we can learn how to do those things if we are really serious in making our marriage work.

Find opportunities to be romantic with your spouse

You can adopt the “champagne-and-roses” style. However, you may have to be more imaginative if you really want to sustain your marriage relationship. What is important is that you should be able to nurture the “romance bubble” by doing the unexpected. Surprise your spouse and treat him or her to something romantic when least expected. Simple things like breakfast in bed or doing the laundry can earn you some brownie points with your spouse.

Go for a fair fight

Make sure that you learn how to fight right. Believe it or not, this is one important aspect of your marriage that you must work on. You cannot avoid it. There will be a lot of instances that you will get into disagreements and conflicts with your spouse. But if you will be able to define the “terms of engagement” then you can fight with your spouse without being combative. The key is really to “argue” rather than “quarrel.”

Preserve your unique identity

You have to remember that the perfect chemistry that you have with your spouse dovetails to your distinct personalities. You don’t have to give up your interests and hobbies just because your spouse is not into them. Go on and continue joining the activities of your book club while your spouse goes off on a fishing trip. Having divergent interests and hobbies does not mean that you are drifting apart from each other. This enriching “breaks” from marriage spice up your life as married couples. In fact, it is very sexy when you push for your independence at times. So, don’t hesitate and pursue some exciting solo activities and adventures
away from your spouse.

Embark on projects together

To create a perfect balance, you must explore new things and experiences as a couple. This will give you a good stock of shared experiences. You and your spouse can make a commitment of joining the next 10K marathon for the first time. If you embark on something together, you are actually working for a new level of closeness between you and your spouse. The experience can be the much needed boost for your marriage as you can get a sense of fulfillment and daring which can really improve the chemistry that you have as married couple.

Your in-laws can your best friends or your worst enemies.

It practically boils down on how you handle your relationship with them. The state of your relationship with your in-laws was never an issue before you were married. In most cases, their influence in your relationship with your spouse has never been a source for concern before you got married. Things can take a surprising turn in a few months into your marriage.

You may find them overbearing and annoying at times, but the treatment that you get from them after your wedding may be something that you have not expected, and this is where the situation becomes unbearable for you. If you seem to have started on the wrong foot in your relationship with your in-laws, you will discover that there is more to than meets the eye, and for them, this is what family is all about. From that point and onwards, your in-laws can be your personal albatross. You may have to contend with a life that is constantly being bombarded by spiteful and snide remarks that seem to hurt more primarily because it is being made by your in-laws.

What makes the situation difficult is that you seem to be helpless in the face of the constant “attacks” as you are expected to accord them the respect that elders deserve, not to mention them being the parents of your spouse. You can really speak ill about them and be confrontational, for they are family as far as your spouse is concerned. The situation can take a horrendous once children become part of the equation.

Is there a chance for you to straighten things out with your in-laws?

1. The first thing that you must do is to understand the circumstances that you and your spouse are in right now. You need to develop the proper mindset in as far as the “role” of your in-laws in your marriage. Whether you like it or not, they will always be a SIGNIFICANT part of your spouse’s life. There is a tie that binds them together, and this is not broken after he or she says “I do” and starts sharing his or her life with you. You have to acknowledge this connection; it is something natural, though annoying at times.

1. Secondly, the harder you struggle to break free from their “clutches” and demand privacy and independence, the more they become overbearing. The parents of your spouse will not take it sitting down if they feel that you are slowly pulling away from them.

So, how can you set things straight with your in-laws and not end up with ruffled feelings?

It all boils down to your approach.

Learn the proper technique of getting your message across without “burning bridges.”

You must be aware at all times that they are the parents of your spouse, and chances are, you are also hurting your spouse if you are not treating them “well.” Get rid of that adversarial attitude when you deal with your in-laws, and though it might be difficult, try to treat them the way you would treat your own parents.