ANGER

Anger management is the first right step to conflict resolution.

If you are successful in dealing anger, then you will likely resolve any conflict in relationships. If you are also successful in dealing anger of your partner, then you will most likely sustain your relationship.

 Anger is often misunderstood and not bad at all. Anger is part of the complex human emotion. It is just one of the consequences of a problem. Anger is not the problem itself, but we need to manage anger, as it is harmful when unmanaged. It is how we deal with anger and its effects is critical. There are five (5) simple steps to manage anger—A.N.G.E.R.

 Allow anger. Like any emotions, never suppress anger. Let it out, but in a harmless manner. You can shout loud, but in a close room, to the mountain or to the coast or through a pillow. You can even shout your anger out in front of your friends and family on their consent. Punching or pinching can also be a good way to let out anger. Punch a pillow or something soft that will not hurt your fist. You can also punch or pinch someone, but on their consent. Tearing paper into pieces or brawling your stuff toys can be a harmless way of letting your anger out. Walking out, swimming or jogging in solitary is also a best way. Exhaustive breathing can literally breathe out anger. There are many ways of allowing anger out. Just ensure they do not harm you or others.

 Neutralize anger. Once your anger is out, neutralize and treat it again as one of your normal feelings. Take deeper breaths to tame anger. You can either take a good long shower/bath or pray. In this way, you are starting to control your anger and behave normal and rational again.

 Go assess anger after you neutralized it. Assess the root cause of your anger. What made you angry? Who triggered your anger? What are other emotions that stirred your anger? When and how did your anger start?

 Explain or share your anger to your partner or friend or family when you traced the roots of your anger. Verbalizing the nature of your anger will let you clearly understand anger. It will eliminate anger out of you. Sharing is a best way to assess further your anger.

 Resolve the conflict, not the anger itself. Again, anger is only one of the consequences of a problem. Find the solution to the root cause of your anger. When you resolve the conflict, you also clear anger and its harmful consequences.

 You need to master this process of anger management first with yourself. You would not be effective in managing anger of your partner or others if you cannot manage your anger yourself. When you master the process, apply this to your partner when he/she gets angry and save your relationship.